HomeKinksDo Women Like Threesomes? Here's What They Have to Say!

Do Women Like Threesomes? Here’s What They Have to Say!

Everything You’ve Wanted to Know About Threesomes But Were Too Afraid to Ask

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“Do women like threesomes?” It’s one of the most searched questions about sex on the internet, and we’ve got the answers. The quick and the dirty answer: women talk about threesomes, they fantasize about threesomes, and they even seek them out. So, do girls like threesomes? You bet! But before you try to put one together, take some time to listen to what women are really saying.

Locker Room Talk: What We Have to Say About Threesomes

There is no question about it, when it comes to Locker Room Talk & Shots Podcast conversations with the girls, the topic of threesomes, threeways, and group sex always comes up. And, when women talk about threesomes the conversation gets fun. So who specifically is interested in threesomes? All kinds of women.

We reached out to multiple groups and forums of women in search of those who had knowledge and advice about threesomes to share. Once we found our sexual sages, we enjoyed a little locker room talk, and here is what we learned: Hold on to your pearls because we aren’t holding back. We’ve put together everything you’ve always wanted to know about threesomes, but were afraid to ask.

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Common Threesome Myths Debunked By Sexually Empowered Women

When asked, “Do women like threesomes?” Our interviewees came back with a resounding, “Yes!” Then they went on to explain why. The following are myths about threesomes that they debunked.

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  • Threesomes are extreme and only really sexually liberal people are having them.
  • Only liberal or sexually promiscuous people want to have a threesome.
  • They are just like what is portrayed in porn.
  • Women only have threesomes to satisfy a man’s needs.
  • All bisexual women want to have one.
  • They all consist of F/F/M dynamic.
  • Threesomes lack emotional intimacy.
  • You can have a successful threesome without boundaries or conversations.
  • Only men initiate and drive threesomes. Or, men want threesomes more than women.
  • Only bored married couples want threesomes.
  • Everyone who is sexually adventurous wants to have a threesome.
  • A threesome is a form of polyamory.
  • Everyone would enjoy a threesome.
  • Threesomes are only about satisfying a man.
  • Threesomes are easy to arrange and just happen.

So, do women like threesomes? Hell yeah! Some do.



Why Do Girls Like Threesomes?

How to Have Threesomes With Empowered Women

When we asked women with experience why and how people should go about having threesomes, here’s what they said. Their answers include why they like to engage in both threesomes and group sex and how you should go about setting up a threesome for yourself.

Anonymous: They are fun and more common than you think!

Karin: Make sure you carefully select the people you have your first experience with. Plan it out and don’t just jump in.

Allison: Only do it if you want to, not because your partner has pushed for it. Also, don’t pressure a partner into doing it. If it isn’t a hell yes, it’s a hell no.



Lisa: Know what your boundaries are, and make them clear upfront.

Robyne: Don’t overthink it. It’s sexy and fun, get out of your head and enjoy the experience.

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Anonymous: However important it is to talk beforehand about sex between two people, it is twice as important to discuss sex when there are three. Hollywood gives us the idea that group sex just unfolds organically, and it certainly can, but then you risk the discussions of hurt feelings and worse.

Ann: Cis female here, and I love having threesomes! I’ve only ever been the “third”, except in a few cases where it has been three friends with no romantic relationships between anyone. Sadly, I’ve not had a partner who was interested until recently. I find threesomes to be extremely satisfying, and I think a big part of that for me is that I enjoy watching the other participants. Seeing others turned on is a big turn-on for me.

The threesomes that I have had, have been some of the most satisfying sexual encounters I’ve ever had. It’s a shame it’s taboo, and it’s a shame it’s still considered “shocking”.

It’s not as if the sex itself [during a threesome], is especially kinky or different. I just find the dynamic to be more fun. Perhaps I’ve been lucky, but I’ve become and stayed friends with most of the couples that I have done this with, and we genuinely like being around each other. We can go from being cuddly and intimate to having a conversation about our kids or dogs or whatever, and there is not any weirdness.

Ann: I have met most of the couples I’ve been with recently through tinder. I just put that I’m Bi, and interested in men, women, and couples. We always meet in a public place first. I always ask to speak or text with the other partner (if I’ve only been speaking with one person) before meeting as well. Just to make sure they really are on board. Also, I suggest you ask if it’s their first rodeo. Personally, I find that couples who have done it before are much more comfortable and fun to be around. But, I’m never opposed to meeting anyone. Just be smart and follow the vibes!

Anon: Myth-busting for a cis male/cis female romantic couple having a threesome with a cis woman (full disclaimer: I’ve identified as polyamorous for seven years): No, your hetero, cis male romantic partner prob won’t leave you if you have a threesome with another cis woman. And no, it’s not an “excuse” for your supposedly “uncontrollably,” randy cis male partner to cheat. I really hate that myth.

Femmes have potent sexual desires too. And like all humans, horniness varies but, come on, everyone is there for pleasure… and to claim cis women get coerced into it is B.S. Sex between three people is not the same thing as two people having sex+1 extra. It’s its own separate dynamic/act!  

Jess: For the woman invited into a first-time threesome with an existing twosome: if it’s not a spur-of-the-moment situation, communication in advance is really important. Be clear about what’s ok and what’s not between the individuals and when [you are] all together. Maybe he’s allowed to perform oral on you, but no penetration. Maybe you only want to kiss her but not him, and so on. Knowing where the boundaries are upfront helps reduce the chance of a mid-sex freak-out. But still, be prepared for it and be willing to stop what’s happening and talk it through. No matter how ok everyone is with the idea of a threesome, the reality might trigger unexpected emotions.

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Sydney: I would recommend that all parties be at an appropriate level of sober-ish. I’m not saying you can’t have a few drinks, but being drunk or super high does not foster clear communication and open dialogue.

Jess: I think it’s really important to know yourself well enough to know whether or not you will be triggered by feelings of jealousy. A threesome is not for everyone, and that’s ok.

Tara: Ask about STI’s and request that all parties have current testing results to exchange. Have plenty of condoms, and make sure everyone knows that they will be used. When involved with one man and two women, I let my partner know I expect him to change condoms between partners.

Stefanie: Go for it! but only if certain dynamics apply. Only go for the [threesome] under these parameters:

1. You and your partner are solid.

2. The other couple is solid.

3. All of you are singles.

[Threesomes] can really damage a relationship if it isn’t on solid footing. Definitely, don’t do it in an attempt to repair a problem. We mostly hear about the failures of [Threesomes] because society frowns upon being sexually active. There are amazing   [threesome] sex stories, but we keep them under wraps because of society’s judgments. My rules for relationships/sex in general, are to be safe, kind, and responsible…

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Threesomes in the Queer Community

Threesomes aren’t just a heterosexual activity. Queer women talk about threesomes as well, and here is what they have to say.


Anon: In general, I feel that there’s more openness to what I affectionately refer to as “unconventionally intimate ways of relating” in queer communities, whether it be sensual, sexual, platonic, etc. There’s no template or default script to fall back on in my queer, polyamorous relationships, so I find that we’re more intentional and less inhibited by repressive cultural norms.

A lot of the queer femmes I’ve been in threesomes with, also don’t center romantic love in their lives, so sexuality and sensuality are liberatory and not bogged down in worries about what it all means for our relationship. Our relationship feels fluid and secure enough for us to seek pleasure with one another, share sensual and/or emotional intimacy with each other (if we’re looking for that), and be embodied.

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Anecdotally, I find that queer femmes I know carry less shame about their sexuality; I’ve never been hit on so boldly or been appreciated for my body by a stranger as much as with queer femmes. This def translates into them being initiated more often.

I also just feel safer with femmes. I don’t feel weighed down by expectations around my body or performance. I don’t feel the heaviness of worrying about a cis male romantic partner/friend/fuck buddy bringing unexamined shit into the threesome or making it mean we’re now ‘romantic,’ if we weren’t.

And because of the lack of all that cultural baggage, I find that I’m def more embodied with queers, and I wonder if they are too. We’re asking each other what we like, and also reading bodily cues, tapping into the energy. Too many cis men I know, even the feminist and BDSM ones, still act like sex is this one-dimensional pornographic act. Boring!

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MMF/FFM/FFF: What Kind of Threesome Do Women Prefer?

When we asked the question”Do women like threesomes? What we quickly learned is that the question is far more complicated than that. So we started asking more specifically; “Do women like threesomes with two women?”; “Do women like threesomes with two men?”, or “Do women care about the gender of the people they have threesomes with?” and we learned a lot.

MMF Threesomes

Historically the MMF threesome came with a whole lot of shame and stigma attached to it. The idea that this type of threesome was male-centered, aggressive, and even humiliating to the woman is outdated and inaccurate. More than ever, women are opening up about their fantasies about being with two men as well as their experiences. Many women admit that the idea of having two men worship her body is a huge turn on and the women we interviewed all reported positive experiences where the men involved sought to pleasure them and treated them with respect. Women are currently seeking out MMF threesomes and enjoying them!

FFM Threesome

This could perhaps be viewed as the classic threesome. The type of threesome that all men seek out because many envision two women focusing on them. But, in fact, women enjoy this threesome arrangement as well. What people often don’t understand is that the FFM threesome arrangement can be quite an equitable experience, especially when the women involved identify as queer. But, even when they don’t, oftentimes one woman is voyeuristic or experiences aspects of compression (receiving pleasure from seeing her partner pleasured). There are many reasons why this threesome arrangement is alluring to people of both genders.

Threesomes and Gender Identities

Let’s not forget, that there are more than two gender identities in this world, and threesomes aren’t limited to the MMF and FFM arrangement. Gender identity and sexuality play into who people want to have experiences within threesomes and group sex, and how that looks can be as varied as the gender and sexuality spectrum. Why limit yourself? If you are interested in having a threesome, be expansive in your idea of how that can look!

Ok, you get the point. But honestly, who is keeping you from safely and ethically having experiences that you’ve always been curious about? I challenge you to get in touch with what you yearn for and what turns you on sexually and then go for it. Commit yourself to a process of being sexually fulfilled on your own terms.

Keep attraction in mind when engaging in multi-partner sex. Put in the effort to really create a fluid, cohesive dynamic with three individuals who are all sexually attracted to one another. Whether you’re exploring M/M/F, F/F/M, F/F/F or any combination of dynamics, making sure that everyone is feeling desired is crucial and makes all the difference in how the chemistry plays out in group sex. Finding this dynamic is absolutely worth the effort when bringing three people into the bedroom.

Don’t be afraid to ask hard questions, and be completely transparent about things as they come up. Not only will it allow more vulnerable and authentic connections, but it will also encourage the same with your other partners. Don’t be afraid to laugh, because after all, if you’re doing it right it’s not only sexy as all get out, it’s fucking fun! Laughter can defuse any discomfort and make things lighter and more enjoyable.

Finally, find ways to keep all parties engaged and connected. Mouths will almost always be open (whether moaning or occupied), hands will be everywhere, and there is always something for everyone to do if you set the expectation that everyone will be kept engaged in the process.

In Conclusion

Anytime you embark on a new journey of sexual exploration,  it’s important to go into it with an open mind. We live in a society where sex and many of its topics are taboo—especially when it comes to women’s sexuality. We don’t always know how to go about navigating something we are curious about, and therefore end up seeking advice from some of the worst places: cue the cheesy porn bullshit feed.

I hope that by having honest and open dialogues in forums (like this kick-ass one you’ve found yourself on) where real women can share real advice derived from personal experiences, more women will be empowered to step out of their comfort zone and have the best sex of their lives! What are you waiting for a girlfriend? The whole fucking world is your playground, and life is nothing more than one big choose your own adventure!

~Until next time, stay sexy you beautiful, adventurous bad-ass bitches!


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Annette Benedetti
Annette Benedettihttps://sheexploreslife.com
Annette is a writer, editor and photographer from Portland, OR. Her work appears in a variety of publications including Bust, Red Tricycle, Motherly and Domino. When she’s away from her desk she can be found teaching women yoga at wilderness retreats, exploring new cities across the states and hiking the trails at Mt. Rainier—one of her favorite places on earth.