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How to Have the Best Sex Starting Now

From Science to Toys to Tips, Here’s How You Can Have Awesome Sex

We all know that women in particular struggle with sexual satisfaction. Stress, depression, poor body image, and difficulty in relationships are just some of the things that studies have determined negatively impact a women’s sex drive. If you found yourself lacking in the sexual satisfaction department throughout your life, we hope it brings you comfort to know that according to a recent survey on women’s sexuality conducted by HealthyWomen and Working Mother Magazine, 62 percent of the women who responded reported not being satisfied with their sex life. This means a whole lot of women are missing out on enjoying what they consider to be the best sex possible for them.

You may wonder why having sex should be a priority at all. Well, having amazing sex comes with a whole lot of benefits that we could all use right now. (Think stress reduction and bolstered immune system).

25 Years of FUN FACTORY

Ten Benefits of Great Sex

While amazing sex might sound like a frivolous treat worth forgoing when you are stressed out or busy, the reasons for prioritizing the goal of experiencing amazing sex on the regular, are many.

It’s true that women’s sexuality is complex, but we’ve learned that getting laid comes with real health benefits for all. Studies have found that regular, mind-blowing sex offers women (and men) the following:

  1. Improved immune system and fewer sick days.
  2. Lower blood pressure
  3. Better bladder control (yay!)
  4. Reduced risk of heart attack
  5. Less pain: have an orgasm instead of reaching for ibuprofen the next time you have aches.
  6. Lowers stress and anxiety as well as depression
  7. It gets you in shape. A roll in the sack counts as a workout!
  8. Improves sleep
  9. Makes you look younger. Really! Here’s the study.
  10.  A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that sex may improve women’s memory!

What We Learned About How to Have the Best Sex

The following is a guide to getting you started on along a path that will help achieve the ability to best sex of your life–and all of the benefits that go with it. There’s a lot to cover, but let’s start with some of the best stuff first.

The best sex
photo: Yelp Inc. via flickr

10 Tips for Having Amazing Sex

Invest in Sex Toys

While good sex toys are spendy, they are an important part of women’s sexuality and they are well worth the money. First of all, if you are quarantined by yourself or while separated from your lover, sex toys let you go it alone. Yes, sex with yourself is still sex…and comes with all the benefits of having good sex.

Additionally, sex toys allow you to explore your body and find what works for you without the pressure of another person being in the room with said or unsaid expectations. Even if you aren’t in the mood, the right toy will change that quickly, and you are likely to reach an orgasm with the right one.

Ok, so you are ready to go shopping. But where should you start? We have a couple of suggestions:

This post contains affiliate links to products we love! All opinions expressed are those of the writer. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links which helps us continue to produce empowering content!

clit sucker, best sex

We-Vibe Melt

This pleasure air clitoral stimulator is a dream come true. Melt was developed to allow couples to fully experience the intense orgasms of Pleasure Air technology. The slim shape lets Melt slip between partners during sex, enhancing intimacy with precision clitoral stimulation. $149

manta, sex toys for men


This incredible toy turns his dick into a vibrator! It fits around the shaft for stroking or focused sensation. The ridges hold lube for better glide. You can also use this toy to level up your blow jobs! $139

Magic wand, best sex

Hitachi Magic Wand Original Massager

The Hitachi Magic Wand is a must-have for awesome oral sex. This electrical personal massager features a clean, simple, and user-friendly design. The powerful 2-speed motor cranks out 6000 RPM and is located directly in the wand’s head. The 12-inch-long shaft is ergonomically designed for optimal grip to find your perfect angle for orgasm-inducing contact. $90

sex toy, best sex

We-Vibe Sync

This toy is a winner for couples who have to spend time apart. We-Vibe Sync fits snugly to your body for hands-free clitoral and G-spot stimulation, letting both partners experience intense vibrations. Sync is waterproof and rechargeable. Best of all it is controlled via remote or app! $149

Angel vibrator, best sex

Angel – Triple Tease G-Spot Stimulator

This baby hits all of the right spots. It fits inside you where it pulses and stimulates you and simultaneously sucks on your clit! It offers 5 powerful suction modes+5 intensities modes+5 licking modes +10 vibrations! $78.99

best sex

Educate Yourself on Edging

Edging is an orgasm control practice where you bring yourself to the brink of an orgasm and then back off only to return to the brink again. This typically goes on for an extended period of time and may or may not result in an orgasm. When it does result in an orgasm, it is likely to be bigger and better than usual.

So why is this guaranteed to improve your sex life? First, if you struggle with reaching an orgasm, this practice takes the pressure of reaching that goal off of the table. The point is to explore your own body, with or without a partner, in an effort to find out what begins to get you “there”. It’s a great way to start discovering doors to pleasure you didn’t realize were there. It also elongates the experience, whether you are with someone or not.

If you are with a partner, edging inevitably improves communication, as you must tell your partner what is working and what isn’t…and of course, when you are on the edge of having an orgasm. It’s fun, sexy, and even relaxing. And if you have a partner who happens to orgasm quickly, the practice of edging might help them learn to better control when they orgasm.


Of course, it helps sex. Of course! Doesn’t meditation help everything (including pandemic-induced anxiety)? Multiple studies have found that women who have a regular mindfulness-based meditation practice experience elevated sexual satisfaction.

A regular meditation practice helps women become increasingly able to sense their own physical response to sexual stimulation and be present for pleasure. A mindfulness practice is especially effective if stress and anxiety play a strong role in your inability to enjoy sex.

A mindfulness meditation practice is designed to help practitioners focus, be present, and release judgment. You can see how all of these skills help in the sack. With continued practice, you may find your negative self-image evaporating and that staying in the moment is possible, especially when you are getting it on, which gives you a better chance of reaching that much-needed orgasm.

Learn About Hinting

Another sexual technique you can use on your own or with a partner is called hinting. Its sole purpose is to build sexual arousal. If you are alone and struggle with getting in the mood, this technique is a great way to get the juices flowing (literally). Essentially you build your body’s anticipation by stroking and rubbing around sensitive areas without ever touching them directly. For example, you might caress around your clitoral area, without actually ever touching your clitoris.

When you are finally fully aroused and in the mood, you can proceed with full contact. If you are with a partner, this can be done while lying and talking to each other or watching a flick. It’s a great way to get things going without rushing.

best sex

Learn to Love Yourself

If you feel bad about yourself, it is hard to let someone else love you. If you are uncomfortable in your own skin, then you are going to have an extra hard time letting someone else touch and enjoy you. So do what you need to get to a place where you feel good about you.

Perhaps you need to work with a counselor to resolve or change your perspective of yourself. Maybe you’ve fallen out of the physical condition that makes you feel your best (this could be different things for different people). Or, perhaps you’ve emotionally outgrown your wardrobe and hairstyle and don’t quite know how to feel comfortable. Whatever it is that is holding you back from feeling good about you…start addressing that.

Spend the money on a new wardrobe (stick to online shopping please). Start a fitness routine, you can still go running or stream home workouts. Or start a new hobby that makes you proud of yourself. When you feel confident about you, you are more likely to feel confident about and crave sex.

Try Something New

Are you single and struggling to find your forever person? Try setting aside your goal of finding a permanent partner and consider taking time to date a variety of people so you can see who really is the best fit. Try committing to a certain number of dates before settling down or give yourself a set amount of time to stay single before your next commitment.

We know, we know. You are practicing social distancing and dating right now is impossible. But is it? If you click with someone on Tinder or Bumble, plan a virtual date! Have dinner over Skype. Did you know that Netflix has an extension that lets you chat while watching a show?

Another thing to consider is researching relationship options. Is monogamy right for you? Look into options like polyamory and open relationships. It’s a whole new dating and relationship world out their ladies!

If you are in a committed relationship, now is the perfect time to switch things up. Try out some new sex acts. Have you experimented with things like tying each other up, spanking, sex toys, sex in public spots, sex in nature and role-playing? There’s a whole world full of things to consider and the only thing that matters is that you both consent and constantly communicate. If you open your sexual relationship up to trying new things without judgment, there’s not a reason in the world you should ever feel bored again.

Consider a Threesome

While this option is not one the table right now, now is the perfect time to start talking about and planning for this new experience. Is your relationship stuck in a rut? Do you nee to add a little adventure to your sex like? Women’s sexuality is often fluid and flexible, consider trying a threesome. First, let’s be clear, having a threesome doesn’t make you a lesbian. There are different kinds of threesomes you can participate in: FFM and MMF are the most common depending on your gender identity and sexuality. People who identify as heterosexual often participate in threesomes with individuals of the same sex without experiencing any discomfort while indulging in a whole lot of pleasure. Need some more insight into what women are saying about their experiences? How about a little advice. Read our Locker Room Talk article What Women are Saying About Threesomes.

Tell Men to Stop Doing These Things

One of the big problems women face when having sex with men is communication. Let’s be honest, lots of men are clueless when it comes to women’s sexuality. They read articles about what women want in bed that are written by men for men’s websites…and they are getting it wrong. If the men you are having sex with are doing any of these things wrong, it’s time to tell them to knock it off!

We know that sometimes it’s hard to be blunt when you are in the middle of rolling around, so consider being preemptive and tell them to read the article and book mark our Locker Room Talk column for themselves.

Reduce Stress the Sexy Way.

Stress is a serious libido killer. It wreaks havoc on a woman’s sexuality. But lowering your stress doesn’t have to be all serious soulful work. In fact, in 2019 we learned that reducing stress can be downright sexy. Think spending time reading erotica, masturbation and bathing in beer! Find out all of the ways you can reduce the anxiety in your life and have more orgasms here.

Ask for Sexy Gifts

Forget flowers and chocolate, spice up your sex life by asking for your partner (or partners) to buy you sexy gifts! If they say they don’t know what to buy, send them our guide. We promise you won’t regret it. Keeping your life spicy is important, and it doesn’t have to be hard. Forget the conventional approach to romance, you’ll be feeling all hearts when your are restrained and/or vibrating.

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Annette Benedetti
Annette Benedetti
Annette is a writer, editor and photographer from Portland, OR. Her work appears in a variety of publications including Bust, Red Tricycle, Motherly and Domino. When she’s away from her desk she can be found teaching women yoga at wilderness retreats, exploring new cities across the states and hiking the trails at Mt. Rainier—one of her favorite places on earth.