What you need to know when you go down
Oral sex isn’t just for men’s enjoyment. Once considered kinky and taboo, going down on a woman is now a “must do” in the bedroom, unless she says otherwise. Fortunately for those new to this beloved sex act, the oral sex techniques and tricks of pleasuring a woman with your tongue (and lips and more…) are no longer the queer woman’s coveted secrets. That’s right, anyone can make a person who has a vulva and clit between their legs squeal with delight.
The following are 18 tips and tricks for giving a woman toe-curling oral sex. If you want to learn more, tune into our Locker Room Talk & Shots Podcast on Clit-Oral sex. You’ll be a master at going down on her before you know it.
18 Orgasmic Oral Sex Techniques & Tips
Have a conversation first!
Look, it shouldn’t need to be said, but we are going to say it anyway. Infuse important questions into your sex talk prior to going down your lady. Ask her if she likes her clit stimulated (some women are more sensitive than others). Ask her what her likes and dislikes are…and then listen to her! If she says she doesn’t like direct stimulation to her clit, don’t go down on her and start hammering it with your tongue. If you and your partner struggle with sex talk, then ask her questions while you are giving her oral sex. When you are kissing her thighs ask, “Does that feel good?”. A simple yes or no will give you enough information to get started, so she can finish with a bang.
Build anticipation (maybe)
Some women love the slow build. Start with a good make-out session and then make your way down. How quickly or slowly depends on what she likes. If she likes breast play, then let your tongue linger there. Give her a preview of what you plan to do when you get to her clit by using her nipples as an example. If she seems bored or annoyed with the wait, take note and get right to the point.
While the clit is the queen of the vulva, it’s not the only place that needs attention when you go down on a woman. The labia need attention too. Spread the lips open so that she can feel your breath on her skin and then kiss and lick the labia. Pay attention to her body’s reactions and find her sensitive spots so you can come back to them or pleasure them while you attend to the clit.
If your woman likes direct clitoral stimulation, make sure you have a bag of tricks ready when you go down on her. If one of the following techniques excites her, stay consistent and don’t move away unless she asks. Note: The clit is very sensitive, don’t beat it up with your tongue or you could make her go numb or cause pain that will kill the excitement for the entire night.
Now is the perfect time to ask her those questions. “Does this feel good?” “Would you like it harder or softer?” Take any redirection or feedback she gives you as a good thing! There’s no room for your ego to rear its ugly head when you are trying to figure out what she likes best.
One of the most common oral sex techniques is to make circles around and over the clitoris. This is a great starting point and can help build the intensity.
Lick up and down
After she is warmed up, try licking her clit and surrounding areas up and down. Start slowly at first so that she can take in all of the sensations. Then try rotating between the two motions: Up and Down and around and around.
The figure 8
Mix things up with this oral sex technique: Try making a figure 8 with your tongue and see how she reacts.
Suck on the clit
That’s right, guys aren’t the only ones who enjoy the sucking sensation. For women who do like this oral sex technique, it can lead to orgasm quickly. So if she starts reacting…just keep going.
Use your fingers
Once a woman is excited from clitoral stimulation, inserting a finger or two inside her can elevate the pleasure. Make sure to ask first! Bonus: Once your finger is inside her you can feel which oral sex techniques excite her more or less. She will become wet when she is experiencing more pleasure and you may even feel her vagina squeeze or pulse when she is especially turned on or close to orgasm.
Penetrate with your tongue
If she is open to penetration, try penetrating her with your tongue.
Incorporate the clit while penetrating
If she enjoys your tongue penetrating her, try using your fingers to stimulate her clit and the surrounding labia simultaneously.
If both hands are free, use one or both to play with her breasts (if she’s into that), while you give her oral sex.
Depending on what she likes, you can use toys to penetrate her or add vibration while you are going down on her. This is especially handy when your mouth gets tired. Go between using your mouth and the toy for extra-long oral sex sessions.
Don’t Forget the Butt!
If you’ve already experimented with butt play and she is open to it, now is the perfect time to incorporate it. You can insert a finger or use a butt plug so you can go hands-free. Important Note: DO NOT use the same finger in her vagina that you have used in her butt. This kind of cross-contamination can lead to yeast infections later.
The big bang!
If you are feeling extra experimental, do it all at once. Use a finger or toy in her vagina and butt at the same time while licking her clit and vulva.
If you moan while going down on your girl, she’ll not only feel good about herself, she’ll enjoy the vibrations.
Women feel a lot of pressure around their appearances…and that includes their vagina, vulva, and clit. Put her at ease with lots of compliments so that she can get out of her head and enjoy the experience. Tell her how good she looks, smells, and tastes. I promise this will elevate her pleasure more than one might think.
Once you are both worked up, she may very well feel generous. Mutual oral sex can be incredibly satisfying…and who knows, maybe you’ll both orgasm at the same time.