HomeKinksGot Kink? 11 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

Got Kink? 11 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

Spicy Kink! If You’re Trying to Spice Things Up, Pay Attention!

When you first met each other, you simply couldn’t get enough time in the sack together. There was a surplus of passion, and enough electricity to keep you banging like energizer bunnies all night (morning and afternoon) long. But slowly your daily roll in the hay turned into an every-other-day kind of thing, and then a once-a-week date night activity. Now you can’t remember the last time you got dirty in the sack. If you’re trying to spice things up, consider adding a little spicy kind to your bedroom routine.

Before you get your vanilla panties in a twist, hear me out. Kink has come a long way baby. Believe it or not, there are tons of once-taboo sex activities that everybody is doing these days, and there’s a reason. A study found that couples that engaged in positive, consensual BDSM activities had lower levels of the harmful stress hormone cortisol and felt closer and more intimately bonded with their partner after sex play.

Intrigued? Forget 50 Shades, we’ve put together a list of sex play activities that will turn your bedroom (or wherever) into the sex den it was during those first days together. The following is a list of if spicy kink ideas to help you if you are trying to spice things up in your sex life. These activities are sure to give you lots of orgasms.

Note: Always get consent from your partner before trying something new in bed.

Set Up a Scene

A scene is the period of time during which you plan to have sex and the sex acts/play you plan to do during your encounter. Before you embark on your sexual exploration together, set up the scene. Decide when and where you are going to have sex. Make sure the space looks and feels the way you need to get in the mood. Make sure you have the clothes, toys, and anything you might need for your sex play session. Plan it out! What you’re going to do, who is doing what, and the kinky new experiences you want to try.

Bend Over Baby

Everyone has to try getting spanked or spanking someone at least once in their lifetime, and we aren’t talking about a little slap on the ass when you’re being ridden doggy style. We are talking about a legit spanking session. Reading or watching some tutorials in advance is highly recommended. A spanking session can include bending or being bent over someone’s knee, lying on a bed, or being bent over a spanking bench for an extended amount of time.

If you are new to spanking, start slow and soft and then increase the pain level only with consent. A good spanking session can include being fingered or receiving clitoral stimulation in between swats or while being swatted. A magic wand can be used to increase the pleasure/pain dynamic that the person being spanked experiences during the scene.

Pegging & Butt Play for Him

If you are trying to spice things up, this activity should be at the top of the list of things to try. Once a taboo topic, pegging has become a popular way for heterosexual couples to spice up their sex life. A man’s prostate is an incredible source of pleasure for him and pegging is the perfect way to stimulate the small gland located inside his anus. Pegging involves a woman wearing a strapon dildo and penetrating her man much like a man does a woman during sex.

While pegging can increase the intensity of a man’s orgasm, much of the pleasure derived from this type of sex play comes from the power dynamic exchange. Pegging gives a man the opportunity to be vulnerable while his female partner takes control. A feeling of euphoria is often experienced during and after a session.

Butt Plugs

Add just a little spicy kink to your bedroom routine with these toys. Consider opening up to butt play during oral sex and while being penetrated. This can include having your partner penetrate you with their finger or wearing a butt plug during sex. Butt plugs come in a variety of sizes, shapes, and materials. Start small and try a variety out to find out what works for you. Wearing a butt plug during sex can increase the sensation for both partners during vaginal penetration!

Not sure where to begin. Check out this intro butt plug set.

trying to spice things up with butt plugs for spicy kink

They-ology Anal Training Set

They-ology’s Anal Training set is made of smooth silicone material.  They come in a set of 5 from 2.6 inches in length by 0.7 inches in width to 3.54 inches in length by 1.19 inches in width.  Each plug is tapered for easy insertion and has a flared base to anchor your plug.  This plug set is perfect for stimulating anal exploration.  It makes anal experimentation fun and easy.

Try Restraints

Forget handcuffs. The world of BDSM has created an endless number of comfortable restraint options that are less intimidating for beginners. Soft Velcro cuffs that connect to one another and furniture are a good starting point. Secure your partner to the bed, a chair, or themselves (hands to ankles), and then try giving them pleasure in whatever way you like (with their consent) while they are helpless.

Not sure where to start? Check out this beginner restraint kit.

a beginners bdsm kit for people trying to spice things up with spicy kink

Fabiana – Restraint Kit

This kit has everything you need get started with restraints (and maybe a little bit more). Bonus: this beautiful kit is made with genuine leather so it will last!

Make ‘Em Watch

As long as you’ve got your partner restrained (though they don’t have to be), why not make them watch you masturbate. Put on an outfit or lingerie that makes you feel sexy and then put on a show for them. By the time you are done, you’ll both be feeling energized and ready to ravage each other. It’s an easy way to spice up your sex life.

Hit a Sex Club

If spicy kink sounds good to you, what’s been keeping you from trying the sex club in your area? Trust us, if you run into someone you know, they’ll be just as interested in discretion as you are. Sex clubs are great places to come up with ideas for your own sex life. The best thing about sex clubs is that you and your partner can be voyeurs—you don’t have to participate. Most clubs have areas where people who aren’t interested in participating can hang out or dance and have drinks. Bottom line, being around all of that sexy energy is sure to turn you and your partner on so that when you go home, you’ll hardly be able to keep your hands off each other. Note: most sex clubs have classes and kink workshops you can take during off-hours that will help you spice up your sex life.

Three’s Company

Consider having a threesome or swinging. Have we gone too far? If you are a monogamous couple, you can rest assured that having a threesome or joining another couple doesn’t mean that you’re cheating. As long as everyone is consenting and understands the boundaries, it’s all good. But you don’t have to take our word for it. Find out what some women have to say about threesomes here. the easiest way to find the perfect vibrator

Toys! Toys! Toys!

Nothing reinvigorates a sexual connection faster than filling your drawers with Toys! Toys! Toys! There are standard toys: think vibrators and bullets. And there are crazy kindy toys. If you aren’t sure where to start, check out some of our recommendations here.

Find a Nearby Glory Hole or Sex Theater

Sounds crazy? Not so much. There are glory holes and sex theaters all over the US (and globally). Many of them are located inside your common sex toy shop and believe it or not, very safe. They are monitored by the shop owners and offer folks a chance to have anonymous sexy encounters in a safe environment. Skeptical? Listen to this Locker Room Talk & Shots Podcast episode and get all of the details including what to bring, yes you should have a go-bag!

Try Boob Sex

Seriously! Boob sex is a thing and can be enjoyed with boobs of all sizes. If you are into boob play, why not take it to the next level? Boob sex can be done with a penis owner or a partner using a strapon. Try different positions or try integrate oral sex into the experience. Not sure where to begin? Listen to what an expert has to say about it?

Sex Outside

Take your love life outside. Why not combine getting down and dirty with the great outdoors? Sure it takes a little advance planning, but all good sex does, doesn’t it? From sex in a tent to sex under the stars, having sex outside mixes things up and combines all of the wonder and awe that comes with being immersed in nature, with all of the endorphins and feel-good hormones that dump into your system when you engage in good sex!

Kink & Sex Play: Everybody is Doing It

If you are still not convinced that spicy kink help your sex life the way you want it to, don’t take our word for it. According to the 2015 Sexual Exploration in America StudyTrusted Source, more than 22 percent of sexually active adults engage in role-playing, while more than 20 percent have engaged in being tied up and spanking. And, that’s not to mention the large number of your peers who are engaging in sex in public and multiple other fetishes. You won’t be alone or even mildly weird if you dip your toe into the world of kink with a couple of fun sexual adventures, or even decide to dive in.

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Annette Benedetti
Annette Benedetti
Annette is a writer, editor and photographer from Portland, OR. Her work appears in a variety of publications including Bust, Red Tricycle, Motherly and Domino. When she’s away from her desk she can be found teaching women yoga at wilderness retreats, exploring new cities across the states and hiking the trails at Mt. Rainier—one of her favorite places on earth.