How to Have the Confidence of a Mediocre White Man
Your Friday feminist mantra comes from an experience that is all to common in our society. Have you ever noticed how differently white cis men handle failure and inadequacy in comparison to other people, especially women and trans folks? The obvious and recurring question is “why do men have permission to be celebrated for mediocre accomplishments, and women, trans, and nonbinary folks don’t?”.
Ever noticed how many times a man in charge completely and utterly fucks things up, and yet is still held in high esteem?
Feel familiar? Does that resonate even the tiniest bit with you?
That’s what I thought.
It is most often self-doubt and not mediocracy that holds women and non-binary people back! Imagine if we all were as confident and bold as the average, mediocre white man. The whole matrix would fall apart and women and nonbinary people would literally run the world. I believe that confidence is honestly that big of a deal!
And so I bring you Your Friday Feminist Mantra.
“It is self-doubt and not mediocrity that holds me back. I will be as confident and bold as a mediocre white man!”
If we want to succeed and take our places at the top and coexist with white, cis men equally, we absolutely must take a stand to abolish our motherfucking self-doubt and drive for perfection. We are already working harder than most white, cis men do. We are already held to higher standards, criticisms, and expectations. It’s time for us to have our own backs. Even when we fall short of what we wanted to accomplish.
Fake it Until You Make It
It’s easy to sabotage our own sense of worth. It is time to start watching, studying, and emulating the shit men have managed to master! Like the subtle art of not giving a fuck how mediocre something they produce is, and standing confidently behind it with all the airs of self-assurance and confidence.
Confidence and competence are king in all areas of business, leadership, and success. You don’t actually have to be the best at ANYTHING, you simply need to convince others that you are, and they will follow you happily! (And this Friday’s Mantra will help with that)
People are starved to remain tucked in all snug and comfy within the fallacies of security and safety. Give them a leader who oozes confidence, and suddenly they assume that said person must be so confident because they are competent. It’s something that the average mediocre white man has mastered!!
And look! Here’s the good news. Before you start feeling bad about it, the bottom line is that you are already doing more work and trying harder than they are!
Take a look at what you are producing, and how you are showing up in your own life.
Ask yourself these questions:
- “How often do I discredit myself in an attempt to not rock the boat or seem cocky?”
- “How often do I apologize when I’m not actually sorry?”
- “How do I handle what I perceive to be a weakness or failure?”
- “In what ways am I demonstrating confidence?”
- “Do I judge myself when something doesn’t turn out the way I had hoped, or do I use it as fuel and an opportunity to grow?”
- “Do I take risks?”
- “How am I supporting a growth mindset?”
Studies have found that men overestimate their abilities and performance, and women do the exact opposite, time and time again! Reread that ladies- we are doing this shit to ourselves! It’s time to take a stand, look at the programming we’ve been bred into, and decide once and for all if we are actually ready to evolve.
Want to start a revolution?!
Look in the mirror and start preaching self-love and confidence to the amazing, resilient, creative, badass woman standing in front of you! Say the mantra! Nourish her dreams so fucking hard that it’s the only voice that can be heard in that fabulous head of yours.
Then take all that fuel and burn shit to the ground, every day, by showing up authentically and unapologetically standing behind yourself! Celebrate every thought, idea, success and failure. If it’s foreign at first, that’s ok, just emulate the most average mediocre white male you can think of and you’ll already be ahead in the game.