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HomeapparelBisexuality in Reality: Exploring Lingerie & Adore Me Review

Bisexuality in Reality: Exploring Lingerie & Adore Me Review

Yes, I First Started Exploring Lingerie in My Mid-Forties

For some, the COVID-19 Pandemic led to business casual attire giving way to joggers and comfy t-shirts. Nightwear became day-wear and all the pretty, dressy things got pushed to the back of the closet where they would stay indefinitely. I, on the other hand, now have a closet and drawers full of gorgeous lingerie, most of which I’ve purchased through my membership with Adore Me.

Two months into the COVID-19 quarantine, I found myself sobbing on the kitchen floor while gulping down a bottle of wine. It was my 46th birthday and I was not happy about it. I was single and facing dating as an openly bisexual woman for the first time in my life. And to make things worse, I was severely out of shape after a good year of trying to lose the extra pounds and couldn’t remember the last time I had been so uncomfortable in my body. I had completely lost “the groove” required for re-entering the dating world and finding the intimate life I desired.


So, there I was, a hot, middle-aged mess making a fool of herself throwing a toddler-like tantrum about aging on her birthday. Unbeknownst to me at the time, that was one of the greatest gifts I would ever give to myself. The next morning, I woke up deeply ashamed and determined to get my shit together. I wasn’t old, I told myself! In fact, I was younger than a good many of the sexiest women in entertainment. Think: Jennifer Lopez, Naomi Watts, Monica Bellucci. These women and so many more ooze sensuality and rock amazing bodies. Why couldn’t I?

My shame was all the motivation I needed to make a change. I decided I would use quarantine times to get myself back in shape and find the sensual goddess that I knew must exist somewhere within me.

adore me review

Getting My Groove Back

Here’s a little secret you all need to know about women in their forties. Many of us have libidos that are on FIRE. I imagine what I am currently experiencing is very much like what men go through when they are in their late teens and twenties, and I want to capitalize on it now that I have the chance to explore my bisexuality. To do that, I knew I needed to work on not only getting comfortable in my body again but actually feeling confident and sexy. Note: feeling horny is different than feeling sexy.

I immediately put a plan together to rebuild my health and fitness. Addressing the issue of “getting my groove back”, well that was a much bigger challenge. I decided a good place to start included exploring lingerie. (I’ve also explored a good many sex toys, but that’s another story.)



I have always wanted to try lingerie but in my mind, lingerie was one of those things that women with perfect bodies (AKA: Victoria’s Secret Angels) wore. And as you all know, Victoria’s Secret lingerie did not belong on models who were five foot tall, or moms, or women who lacked a slight build and good-sized perky boobs. And it most definitely didn’t belong on 46-year-old women.

Fortunately, research I had conducted while writing an article on body-positive alternatives to Victoria’s Secret led me to find Adore Me, an online lingerie store for women of all sizes. Over the months, I had found myself perusing the Adore Me website aching over whether to pull the trigger on purchasing my first-ever matching bra and panty set (Yeah…I had never even owned a sexy bra and panty set). I was ready

adore me review

Adore Me Review

Exploring lingerie for the first time is overwhelming, especially during a pandemic. There are hundreds of online stores to choose from. Deciding what to by and where to buy it can feel confusing and disheartening. There are cheap online stores and super expensive online stores. Did I want a corset? How about a body suit? And WTF is a bustier?

One of the things that initially drew me to Adore Me was that they sold matching bra and panty sets, which seemed like a simple place to start. Many of the other sites I looked at sold bras and panties separately, increasing the choices I had to make and the price tag. I also liked that Adore Me had models in all sizes, not just small and large. I found examples of my body type on their site, which made figuring out what would look good on me easier.

Once I settled on trying  Adore Me out, the first decision I had to make was whether I would buy their lingerie item by item at a higher price or become either a VIP or Elite Member.

thigh highs, bra and panty set
Adore Me VIP Membership

The VIP Membership is promoted as an exclusive way of shopping and receiving discounts and other “perks” through what is truly a flexible membership program. Some of the perks include $10 off each set, exclusive sales, and a free set after every 6th full-priced set purchased.

The VIP membership program creates a new collection for you every month. You need to visit your online showroom between the 1st and the 5th of each month to shop or skip. You’re not obligated to shop and can skip as many months as you want. If you don’t shop or skip for the month, you’ll be charged a refundable $39.95 store credit on the 6th of the month. Store credits can be used to buy anything on Adore Me and they never expire!

The other option is the Elite Membership Box.

Adore Me Elite Box

Additionally, Adore Me has the “Elite box” you can subscribe to.

For this membership, you pay a $20 styling fee to receive  4-7 items that range from $19.95–$59.95 per set customized to your preferences. This fee is applied towards any lingerie you keep (or they keep your $20 if you decide not to purchase anything). You have 7 days to try on the pieces sent to you and decide if you want to keep them or send them back.

I know myself well enough to know that I’d never send anything back on time so I went with the VIP membership.

Exploring lingerie, corset
My first corset
Lingerie 101

I decided to start exploring lingerie with basics: matching bra and panty sets, a simple baby doll set, and a sexy body suit. When my first order arrived, I was shocked to find that every piece fit perfectly. The bra and panty sets were fairly simple and straightforward lacy things that weren’t over-the-top sexy, but they were a big step up from my one of two old bras that I bought…who knows where years ago.

The quality was solid, and every last piece of lingerie was incredibly comfortable. The baby doll set was my favorite and flattered my body, even as uncomfortable as I was with it at the time. It also works well as a top that can be openly worn when tucked into a skirt or a pair of pants.

With each monthly order, I got braver and braver. I was gradually getting in shape but learning to feel sexy in my body at each various stage. I’ve bought contour bra and panty sets, plunging bra and panty sets, pushups, thongs, and more. I own several bustiers and I even bought my first corset.

I love all of them.

Out of the many, many items I have purchased from Adore Me, I can confidently say that at least 95% of the items I have fit me perfectly, and I feel sexy AF wearing them.

I did try ordering lingerie from a couple of other places as well to start, but what I received was either unpredictable in sizing or low quality.

Adore Me
Final Thoughts

Exploring lingerie has given me a doorway into a sensual side of myself I truly didn’t know existed. I suspected it was there…but I wasn’t sure. It has also given me an unexpected confidence boost and helped change my relationship with my body. I love that wearing lingerie under my regular clothes makes me feel sexy even when I know that no one will see it except me. I’m addicted!

If you want to explore lingerie or want to have a reliable lingerie shop to purchase your underwear from, I highly recommend Adore Me. They offer gorgeous, quality products at a reasonable price. Putting your account on pause is simple and I’ve had great luck when I’ve had to call customer support for help with an item or a purchase.

Adore Me is a great way to discover and stock up on your basic lingerie pieces without a huge financial risk. However, I will say this. Adore Me offers sexy lingerie pieces that are a bit on the less “racy” side. My exploration into lingerie and the success it has brought me with unleashing my sensual side has led my curiosity and interests in a more risqué direction. Think cage panties and crotchless lingerie. HOT.

While Adore Me has given me a fantastic base of knowledge about what I like and what looks good on me, I am beginning to look into racier pieces elsewhere. Don’t get me wrong, I will not be giving my Adore Me membership up. But I will definitely be trying out new pieces from other shops. And when I do, I promise to share.

To check out Adore Me for yourself you can visit it here.

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Annette Benedetti
Annette Benedettihttps://sheexploreslife.com
Annette is a writer, editor and photographer from Portland, OR. Her work appears in a variety of publications including Bust, Red Tricycle, Motherly and Domino. When she’s away from her desk she can be found teaching women yoga at wilderness retreats, exploring new cities across the states and hiking the trails at Mt. Rainier—one of her favorite places on earth.
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