I Do: Committing to Your Self This Valentine’s Day
February 13, 2020
Valentine’s Day and Self Love
In 2017, Victoria’s Secret model and actress Adraina Lima announced, in an act of self love, that she’d married herself, and in doing so, caught quite a few eye rolls and scoffs. But Lima was part of what was, and continues to be, a growing trend of women deciding that their best life partner is…themselves.
While not everyone (myself included) is prepared to don a ring and invite friends to a ceremony celebrating their love for themselves, the concept makes sense. There is only one person you live with your whole life, you go through everything with, only one person that no matter what you can’t kick out or break up with.
And yet, that one person is oftentimes the person we are hardest on. We mistreat that person, speak down about them, say awful things to them.
What would it look like if instead, we treated that person – our very selves – the way we would treat a lover or partner? What if we cherished ourselves and appreciated all the amazing things about ourselves? What if we vowed to, above all else, love ourselves?
It is the season of love right now, after all, with Valentine’s Day upon us. However, along with the aisles of candy and roses, this holiday can bring up a mix of complicated emotions for people. There are those who love it because they swoon at any excuse to be over-the-top romantic, those who hate it because it brings up feelings of loneliness, those who think it is a capitalistic manipulation of human emotions, and those who are just happy for the extra influx of chocolate.
I’m personally rather ambivalent about the holiday. In the last few months, though, I’ve been thinking a lot about ways I can show up for myself and I realized that Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to do so.
I’ve come up with some practical ways to do this, and invite you to join me in a bit of self love this holiday…and this year.
Valentine’s Day & Committing to Yourself
1) Listen to Your Self…and Respond
We so often hear the needs, desires, and requests of others and try to meet them. Our child asks for snacks, our friend wants more time with us, our employer needs more hours. Throughout the day we are checking in with others, but how often do we check in with ourselves?
This Valentines Day, I’m committing to checking in with my self more often…and then instead of dismissing what I need or want, actually listening! A few times a day I’ll take a moment and ask myself, “What do I need right now? What do I want?” Is my body asking for a glass of water, to do some stretching, to have some alone time, to get a hug, or for a giant cookie? I’ll listen, and to the best of my ability in that moment respond to what my body wants. By doing this, I show myself I’m reliable and capable of meeting my needs.
2) Be True To Your Self
It is very easy to get caught up in the expectations and demands of others. We’re inundated daily with messages about the various ways we should be, act, and look. It is no wonder that oftentimes we can lose sight of who we are.
This Valentines Day I’m committing to being my authentic self. I will speak my mind, act in ways that feel right for me, and present myself to the world in the ways that I want, even if those things go against expectations others have for me. By doing this, I show myself I am trustworthy and can be my own best advocate.
3) Pamper Your Self
In our busy schedules, it is easy to be rushing around so much that we don’t take out time for ourselves. But doing so can recharge us and remind us that we are special. Pampering can look different for all of us – it maybe 30 uninterrupted minutes with a good book, a self-massage (I especially love doing face and scalp massages on myself, and you can find tutorials on YouTube), a perfectly ripe piece of fruit, a phone call to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while, or ordering dinner to be delivered.
This Valentines Day I’m committed to treating myself well and doing special things for myself. I will do for myself little things to remind me of my value. By doing this, I show myself that I am worthy of being treated well by others too.
So while I’m not going to be proposing to myself anytime soon, I have decided this Valentine’s Day to commit to loving myself more and showing up for myself in new ways.
This Valentines Day, what do you vow?