A Christmas Paradox
This is a tricky time of year. For many, it is a time of joyful reunions, happy anticipation, and sweet holiday traditions. For others, it is a time of stark inequality, veiled depression, and complicated family dynamics. We all have demons buried deep within us, and for some reason, they seem to rise to the surface during the Christmas season when there is a general expectation of, if not joyousness, at least happiness.
You are supposed to be excited about the holidays and your family holiday traditions. You are supposed to look forward to Christmas. It almost feels like there is something wrong with you if you don’t. I know you’ve felt it. I’ve felt it, too. Life is complicated. We are complicated, as human beings, and we should be allowed to have our own experience, even if it doesn’t jive with the perceived notion of how we are supposed to feel.
So, the question is, if you have ambivalent feelings about the holidays but still yearn to embrace them, or have children and loved ones who get excited about them, how can you be part of the joy and embrace holiday traditions?
The following are some tips for overcoming the not so uncommon holiday blues and creating new holiday traditions for all to enjoy.
How to Change Holiday Traditions & Experience a Merry Season
Tired Family traditions
Drinking, eating, and unwrapping presents, are some common holiday Traditions. Now, I’m not saying anything is wrong with any of these traditions, but for many, these traditions have pitfalls. Some have unhealthy relationships with relatives that they feel forced to spend time with. Some are battling addiction. And some, are struggling with body image and eating disorders. There are a million things that can make usual family traditions feel really hard.
Perhaps it’s time to trade the tired, old family holiday traditions out for some new ones. If you aren’t sure where to begin, the following are a few ideas.
6 ideas for new holiday traditions.
Spread the True Spirit of Christmas
Many suffer from an overabundance of…well, an overabundance. You might be saying, “That’s not a problem, that’s just the spirit of Christmas!” True enough. Especially in this country. But if you are, generally speaking, against that idea perhaps turning your attention to the spirit that drives us to open our hearts, help our fellow man, and generally try to make the world a better place will help.
Instead of verbalizing your sense of distaste at things like blatant commercialism; and irritation with crowds and general excess, and bringing everyone down, consider focusing your efforts on doing good. Make online donations to worthy organizations like Heifer, Doctors Without Borders, and Habitat for Humanity. You can even put them in the names of your adult relatives and loved ones.
The Gift of Experience
Talk to your friends, family, and loved ones in advance. Let them know that you are working on finding ways to embrace the spirit of Christmas and that this year you’d like to do things a little differently. When asked what you want for Christmas, tell them to give you gifts of experience with them instead. Gifts of experience can come in the form of an IOU, or gift certificates to concerts or plays. Think long hikes, bike rides together, or a date for cooking a meal with each other.
Get Involved & Give Back
The holiday season is the perfect time to volunteer. Find a local soup kitchen or nonprofit that is in need of help throughout the season. If you have small children, have them help you go through the home and gather old toys and clothes and useful things for donation before Christmas Day comes. This way, receiving won’t feel as gluttonous. Because, believe it or not, you too deserve all that you receive…even when it comes wrapped in pretty paper and bows.
This one is simple – travel for the holidays. That’s right, celebrate the holiday someplace other than home. If you can’t afford to go overseas or someplace luxurious, drive to a nearby cabin or beach house. You can keep it as simple or excessive as you like.
Your Presence is a Gift
Visit a local retirement home. Go room-to-room with candy canes, or some small treat to share. There are plenty of places where people feel detached and forgotten during the holidays. Visit one of them.
Escape the Masses
John Muir said, “Into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.” Sometimes nature can provide us the peace we can’t find within ourselves. Get outdoors. Start an annual Christmas hike or walk through the neighborhoods and view the lights. If it is too cold, go on a drive and check out your area’s lights and decorations. I guarantee this will soon become a favorite annual tradition.
Spend Time with Friends
While much of the holiday focuses on family, don’t forget to spend time with those who bring you joy throughout the year. Carve out time for your chosen family, work them into your holiday traditions. Friends are family too.