So, This is #Adulting?
December 31, 2018
#Adulting is a column hosted by our contributor Kimieabreak that explores what it means to be a 30-something woman trying to get by in today’s society. It features her personal musings, interviews, and research into navigating various aspects of this stage of life during this unique time in history.
What Does #Adulting Mean in 2019?
How do you describe yourself? What adjectives do you choose to paint the picture of who you are?
I am 31. I am an actress. I’m also a newly minted headshot photographer. Or, is it more new age to say that I do photography and I am one-half of an ethically non-monogamous partnership?
I live in Bend, Oregon, but at this moment I am actually living in Berlin, Germany.
Who we are and what we do changes at an actual tick of the clock. Who I am to the outside world, the social inter-webs of the world, the “perspective of society” world—and who I am-actually—are incomparable. Nondescript.
What I am currently trying to do is… Adult*. (#Adulting for the Gen i-ers half-mindedly scrolling out there.)
Is it harder to be us, or to actually try to explain our positioning in life? Outdated social norms are changing faster than an iOS update. But there’s a lag in our growth as we peacock our way to the top of the food chain…‘the prime of our lives’; ‘the moment we’ve all been waiting for’ where curfews no longer apply and where working from home in our PJs and living with our lover(s) is under our own roof and rules.
There’s still some invisible grip that ties us to old-world ideals: monogamy, capitalism, traditions*, work ethic. There seems to be a giant tear—a literal growing pain of the old and the new. Lava meeting the ocean. Two opposing parts colliding to symbiotically create growth.
I am it.
I am at the apex of what anthropology* would have you believe is THE moment of my life. I’m young, healthy, attractive, with opportunity at my doorstep and a world of connection and knowledge at my fingertips. But I have no fucking clue what I’m doing or who I am.
Ask my child self where I thought I would be at 31 and she might have said a world-traveling Shamu-training grandma (because kids have no concept of how age really works) At the ripe age of 31, the reality check of not being anywhere close to the responsible, stable, got-my-shit together life seems another 10 years away.
So what is adulting?
We know what we thought it should look like, but what is it really? How are my fellow now-parents dealing with “coming full circle” into their positions of now being the grown-ups? What does our nine-to-five career look like these days? How do we want to love? Why marriage and who and how we love is evolving?
These are just the foam on my pumpkin spice latte, of questions I want to discover.
I am just a non-kid—a not-a-girl, not-yet-a-women who doesn’t know how to properly fill out a fucking W2 (what’s in the box?)—who’s gonna just try to spit some truth, share some facts, grow and probably…maybe…will put some pants on before 2 p.m. and try not to get sucked into an Instagram feed black hole because I meant to check my email.
By the way, thank you for taking two YouTube AD lengths time to give this article a browse. Why do you want to keep reading? Because you’re a lost 30-something trying to find out if another Thriving Thirty (right…) year-old has maybe figured out a morsel or two of advice to pass on to you? (I have a couple)
Are you a 20 something trying to get some insight on what’s to come? Oh sweetie, please let me just give you a deep hug and tuck you in with some rocky road blue bunny ice cream and a rerun of Dawson’s Creek. And if you’re an older wiser generation just passing through to have a few giggles to see how the young’uns are dealing, how bout you send me a DM* with what the eff is happening and why didn’t you tell us?!
So like, “like” my page and subscribe my little
- What’s it like to be an actual capital M-O-M, and what do we do if maybe we just don’t seem to have that feminine of all feminine ovarian caveman calls?
- What does love mean in 2019? Is it the ultimate* intimate commitment of your mind, body, and soul to one person until one of you dies or leaves?
- Or is it grand and fluid, with intricate layers of communication, trust, and respect where you can share your body with others but maintain loyalty?
When do you feel most Adult? Do you measure it by your independence from others, financially, creatively, authoritatively?
Chin up lovers, we’re all in this together,
A Millennial’s Guide to Words
Anthropology= the science that deals with origins physicals and curtail development, biological characteristics, and social customs and beliefs in humankind
Traditions= the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation.
Adult= a person who is fully grown or developed.
DM= Direct message
Ultimate= Greatest or most extreme