Stop Apologizing For Your Wedding Day
September 26, 2019
Take Back Control Over Your Special Day
Some studies suggest that women are naturally more empathic than men. This may or may not be true, but what most will agree on is that females are conditioned by society to feel as though they must be polite, even when it comes to some of the biggest decisions in their lives such as those they make about their impending wedding day. If you are in the process of planning your wedding and find yourself apologizing for expressing your desires, wishes and opinions, it might be time to reconsider your approach to your special day.
When it comes to creating the perfect wedding you inevitably have to make key decisions that affect everyone in your wedding party and close family friends. They include what the brides maids and best men wear in your bridal, the date and time that people need to be there, and other decorative and functional choices that contribute to the type of day you and everyone else have experiences.
It’s during this decision making process that things often go wrong. Women who are empathetic often find themselves feeling like they need to apologize for wanting things to go a certain way, especially when it is in conflict with what their partner or family prefers. Even worse, some brides-to-be find themselves going along with what others want just to avoid conflict or uncomfortable conversations.
If you find yourself in the middle of making plans for your special day and constantly apologizing for what you want, the following advice can help you avoid the need to apologize, and instead begin to make more authoritative decisions that ensure your wedding day goes exactly the way you want.
5 Ways to Stop Apologizing for Your Wedding Day:
Do Not Be Afraid Of ‘No’
Women are often afraid to say “no”. Learning to own and use that one simple word can make all the difference when it comes to dealing with your future in-laws, husband-to-be, or family members who have different ideas about how things should go. Being able to say no during the wedding planning phase of your big event is important. Of course, using tact doesn’t hurt. “No thank you I have opted for something else, but thank you for the recommendation” will most often do the job. But the second time around, a blunt ‘no’ may be what is required.
Be ready in advance
If you feel unprepared to be put in a situation where you need to say no, it doesn’t hurt to prepare yourself ahead of time. Consider what situations may arise and rehearse your response. For example, it might be that a friend of yours wishes to volunteer their friend to take your wedding photos. They might assure you that they have experience photographing bands and would do it for free, even though you’d much rather a professional come and take the pictures that you know will turn out perfectly. It can feel harsh for you to decline this generous offer, but this is your wedding day. Visualize this situation in advance and practice saying ‘no’ so that it easier when the time come. You’d be surprised at how far a little practice can go.
Curate The Small Things
Curate the smaller parts of the wedding planning, those elements that may otherwise be micromanaged by others in your wedding party. For example, it might be that your mother goes ahead and orders a batch of wedding invites when you would have much preferred to use wedding invites from Pure Invitation.
The little things that while smaller in size have no less impact than the largest table decoration for the main wedding feast. Taking control of these decisions will help you feel empowered and send a clear message to those around you that you are in charge.
Authority In The Wedding Planning Circle
Managing authority within your wedding planning circle can be a tough task. In fact you may run the risk of fragmenting relationships between people. Especially when you don’t have much practice organizing detailed events with those in your party as your staff. Despite, running a team comprised of family and friends, you never know how everyone will work together, or their operational capacity.
This can also be further complicated when someone else begins micromanaging the decisions you would like to make for your wedding. For example, authority in the wedding planning circle may have been seized by your parent as they are happy to donate a good portion of the funds to cover the wedding. But does that mean they should decide everything and have that power without discussion. Making this known in advance is importlant. Of course, there’s a balance here. Perhaps you wish to be firm about the color palette you are going for despite your parent having different intentions. This is a polite conversation that needs to be had.
However, if your parent is paying for you to get married in a local venue so your entire family can come, and you decide that an impromptu switch to a beautiful Greek beach as your wedding location is the best course of action, you cannot complain if they decide to pull their funding offer. This means that speaking your needs truthfully and managing them in other expectations can help you avoid apologizing, because you’ll be considering the needs of all involved, especially yourself.
Do What’s Right For You And Your Partner?
What’s right for you and your partner? Does it matter that some in the wedding party may not understand it? For example, if you wish to curate a silly dance to have a blast on the dance floor, creating a home video at the same time why not do this? Injecting a little fun and silliness into the entire experience can help you avoid being so self-serious about the entire affair, and, you guessed it, develop a wedding procession that you needn’t apologize for.