Love & Romance: Why Relationships Fail
November 27, 2019
When the French playwright and 18th-century thinker, Beaumarchais, wrote his comedies, The Barber of Seville and The Marriage of Figaro, which inspired Mozart’s opera, he injected a lot of his philosophy and democratic ideals into the plots. The plays, written in 1775 and 1778, still manage to sound modern and relevant for a contemporary audience, and address common modern questions like: why relationships fail.
Additionally, Figaro, a valet, is a sharp-witted man who believes in freedom, equality is one of the first characters to preface the French Revolution. Spectators of all ages can find nuggets of wisdom hidden behind his wit.
Figaro’s most quoted line is a piece of advice to all: “I quickly laugh at everything for fear of having to cry.”
With it, Beaumarchais inspired countless comedians to turn their worst experiences into jokes. The staple bad experience remains our relationship failures. From dating horrors to nightmare partners, modern audience has heard it all. The question, however, is not why we laugh when things go wrong. Beaumarchais has already explained it to us. But instead, we need to wonder why relationships fail so often.
3 Common Reasons Why Relationships Fail
Because we expect the other to do all the hard work
A relationship should make you feel happy and loved. However, it shouldn’t replace self-love. Indeed, you’re unlikely to find any partnership fulfilling if you approach it without loving yourself in the first place. Developing a sense of appreciation for yourself can take time . This smart lady chose to date herself to engage with who she is and explore her tastes and personality to the fullest. While it’s not to say you should dedicate all your spare time to yourself, you need to be happy in your own company before you can enjoy spending time with others.
Because we go out of our comfort zone
Do opposites attract? In reality, most people prefer to share meaningful time with someone who understands their values and faith. Getting out of your comfort zone to meet someone with whom you’ve got no commonality is the quickest way to a failed relationship.
If your religious faith is essential, you should focus your attention on a community that shares your views. It’s no surprise that Christian and Muslim dating sites are so popular among young generations who want to meet like-minded people! Similarly, dating sites are also allowing micro-communities to interact romantically, such as this doctor dating site, which allows professionals to date people who understand their stressful and busy schedules. Ultimately, there is no gain in ignoring your comfort zone when it comes to dating. In fact, it’s one of the most common reasons why relationships fail.
Because we are terrified they’re going to hate us
Everybody judges everybody. You are at your most vulnerable when you choose to go on a date to get to know your crush. Will they judge your outfit or your personal interests? Fear of being judged can force you to self-sabotage your efforts. The truth is that judging is a natural process. While your interlocutor might build their first impression, so do you of them. Thankfully, first impressions are made to evolve as we get to know each other. Besides, your crush came to see you; have faith in their taste!
Should relationships become a laughing matter? In Beaumarchais’s words, they only do if they take a turn for the worse. But by identifying the mistakes that sabotage your chances from the start, you can avoid costly failures!
“Can love and peace live in the same heart?”, Beaumarchais once asked. Your challenge is to prove him right.